Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Mad Season

I know it's been more than a few days since I posted anything. I've had a lot going on and today the only thing I can think of to write is some stuff from one of my favorite singers/bands because after what happened last week this is how I feel.

It's amazing
how you make your face just like a wall
how you take your heart and turn it off
how I turn my head and lose it all
It's unnerving
how just one move puts me by myself
there you go trusting someone else
now I know I put us both through hell
I'm not saying
there wasn't nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
I'm not saying
we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me
But if that's how it's gonna leave
straight out from underneath
then we'll see who's sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
you know you've been depending on
the one you're leaving now
the one you're leaving out
It's aggravating
how you threw me on
and you tore me out
how your good intentions turn to doubt
the way you needed time to sort it out
Tell me is that how it's going to end
when you know you've been depending on
the one you're leaving now
the one you're leaving out

This will all fall down like everything else that was
This too shall pass and all of the words we said
We can't take back
Now every fool in town would've left by now
I can't replace all the wasted days
The memory of your face - can't help thinkin'
Maybe if we ever coulda kept it all together
Where would we be
A thousand lost forevers
And the promises you never were giving me

i feel stupid - but i know it won't last for long
i've been guessing - i coulda been guessin' wrong
you don't know me now
i kinda thought that you should somehow

And instead of wishing that it would get better
man you're seeing that you just get angrier
And it's good that I'm not angry
I just need to get over,
I'm not angry, anymore

No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I am
Don't think that I can take another empty moment
Don't think that I can fake another
hollow smile
It's not enough just to be sorry.
Don't think I can take another talk about it

I know it sounds sad but trust me when I tell you this is theraputic and I can't think of another way to explain how I feel. I only hope that he will read this and undertand that the ride has come to a stop and I'm getting off the roller coaster. This is the end!


Princess LadyBug said...

Sis, I'm so sorry. I wish I could make it all go away. Just know that this bitterness will make the next love that much sweeter.

He's a fool and an idiot. And he's never been good enough for you.

I love you!

SweetestT said...

Thank you sis. I think the hardest part is knowing the bitterness is there because I still love him and part of me always will. But I promise you and myself that I won't let that keep me from finding happiness, wherever that may be.